Bruises and a Writer's Remedy

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Sticks and stones might break my bones but words will never hurt me.

Lies. Quite frankly that last time I was hit with a stick, it left a bruise upon impact. Words on the other hand sting. Words burn. Words engrave on my skin. I find myself apologizing for being insulted and not being good enough.
For the longest time, I didn't check my amazon page because nothing seemed to be happening but a little less than a week ago, I realized I had my first review! My heart started racing and to make matters worse, my internet was faltering making the anticipation unbearable. I was pumped, I was excited. Finally, a real person, someone I probably don't know, was giving me their honest opinion!
But, the review gave me great feedback and a pain in my chest. It was honest alright and I appreciate it. I'm glad I read it, I'm glad I found it, but most importantly, I'm glad I know what to do to better my writing.
I am sorry for the one who read my book and didn't receive everything they were looking for. It is my job to please and obviously I'm doing something wrong. Of course, I ended up replying to the one who wrote the review. This is amazon. This is all I can do. I can't find them and talk to them about my journey. I can't buy them coffee as compensation. I can pray that they buy my next piece and think it kicks ass. I can reply to them and hope they read it. Something personal, anything personal to know that I care.
And for them to know that I am human. It hurts reading that my main character is a Mary Sue. I didn't know I could make a Mary Sue out of an Alice but I managed to! I can't argue with the fact that Alice is based from my experiences and my friends but that's because I don't know anything else. I can't write about the Romans no matter how much I researched because the emotions wouldn't be the same. It hurts reading that I wrote fanfiction, not a novel but this is what I wanted to create. This is a story of  generation and yes, call me a fan. The characters are my friends and like it or not, most of what happened in my novel, happened to us. This was our battle cry.
But my reviewer is most likely not on my blog since if they were, they would know about the disaster Trafford made. They would know I'm only a kid. They would know I just wanted them happy and hate myself for failing.
Scratch that. This isn't the attitude any writer can have. We produce works we are proud of with stories we think are required to be heard but it's not up to us on who listens. We can't expect our readers to know our story and love our work no matter how great of a person we can be.
What we can do is be proud. Shit, we just wrote a short, poem, novel, you know it!
I want you all to say it.
Sticks and stones might break my bones but words will never change me
I am proud and I am strong, prouder than a parade and stronger than a bandaid
And today, I am proud of my reviews because I have reach the ears of at least one being
I am proud because it is a matter of minutes before the right ears hear me
Sticks and stones are simply cones since words will only build me
Did you read that out loud? No? 
Read it again.
We cannot dwell on those we have disappointed, we can only brush off our shoulders and work harder to impress the haters. We must be open to change and accept our faults only if applicable. So sure, I wrote fanfiction but I am proud that I accomplished my goal. Welcome to the reality show called life and call me a fanatic because I watch it every day. I can agree though there are grammar mistakes and I can't blame anyone but myself for getting lazy.
What we can do is:
  1. Brush it off and swear we'll get them next time
  2. Write a letter spilling our hatred only to burn the bad emotions away
  3. Start a rejection routine to make a rejection something to look forward to like going to a bar, eating Italian, or simply filling a bubble bath to nurse the cold in our hearts.
  4. Reread the good reviews
  5. Practice another hobby until we are healed
  6. Embrace our errors with pride, maybe write a critique of yourself as a joke
  7. Meditate 
  8. Cry, scream, just let it out
  9. Find a funny photo or movie and a favorite possession to embrace your inner kid. Run away from responsibilities for a minute
  10. Look in the mirror and admit to yourself that you are in fact proud of your work.
Because words will never hurt me.

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