An Update

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Here.

Here is an update.

Here you go.

Now leave me alone.



Obviously, I have not been writing. I have not been living, I have not been doing much.
I work over 40 hours a week and when I am not working, I am doing homework,
I don't know why I'm writing this. Honestly. I haven't figured that bit out.
I wish I could produce a story or poem or short mantra --which I might end up trying in the near future --but not in this post. Not today. No.

My life goes as follows
I was in Japan
and traveled along the ancient cities in pure bliss.
I was in an abusive relationship
but after hip surgery, bed-ridden
I left him.
I got a marketing position
but due to my age, all I did was teach and learn different systems.
I deleted my facebook since a repeat number of pals let me know I was insane.
I got a position as a host but recently,
have been promoted to line cook
which is the most thrilling thing that could have happened.

But for some god awful reason, I'm still broke and looking for more employment. Are you looking for anyone to do anything? Because I can do a lot.

I have maximized my time and smoke pot to forget about how slow my existence seems to be going. My mother thinks I'm on heroin and all I can do is envy the girl in her imagination. Never have I ever shot up but for some reason I have been kicked out.
I guess I don't like listening to rules but I guess that's what happens when no one listens to you.
It gets old knowing you're not enough, or you aren't living life right.
But this is my life, right? and I have to do the best I can, right?

Fuck. I just need some help.
It's getting really hard pretending everything is under control
especially when no one seems to believe you
in the first place.

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