Chaturanga Dandasana
Four-Limbed Staff Pose
Or a plank.
Recently, I completed a yoga class at my local gym. I feel the need to work out because if I don't, I'll grow a big booty in all the wrong ways. I wait too much for emails simply cooking or cleaning on a daily basis so a good workout is more than needed.
The one day I did decide to finish my workout with a group exercise, it was the day we worked on control. When everything seems to be falling out of my control, I was offered a key to control. It was one of the best classes I ever had. Even though I fell a few times, hopped a little early, dripped sweat on the floor, and left (never owned) my mat, I came out more free than America makes life out to be.
We began by controlling our breathing and then were asked to invision what our goal was. A million goals ran through my mind. The first goal was not to pass out. Next was being successful. Wouldn't it be nice to earn all of my money back and then enough for NYU? But being successful isn't all that is important. Even my own mother doesn't care about my earnings. "As long as you're happy" is all she tells me now-a-days.
Well-being. That became my goal. As my heart keeps hurting and I feel more and more unhappy, maybe I'm thinking about everything the wrong way. Originally, I wanted to write my book so that so reader could connect with it. One soul out of the endless copies available was all I wanted. But as I watched my bank account lower and my stress level raise, my intentions simply redirected towards business.
Let's look at business though, I don't have a published book yet as it will only be out in a week. I don't have business cards as they only come out with my book. I don't have a publisher as I am self-publishing and my wanna-be agent still hasn't finished my manuscript. What is business? A lot of running around and praying for things to go right.
Let's tight this back to yoga and control. Control is the one thing I can't seem to find. Business is uncontrollable. I can't force consumers to love me. But I can control my breathing and the image of me. I want to be happy and well. Letting go of control is everything I need. And maybe the compassion of a boy who loves me unconditionally.
When the class ending, the instructor offered us a few hand positions. Palms facing up is letting go of control. For that one moment after a yoga class of stumbles, I had full control to let go. Not only did I feel relaxed, I felt everything click. A vision of my smile appeared and the next night I went to poetry with the very boy who can stand me when I panic. What did we do? We sat in each other's arms and listened to poems. Sure, I pushed my book a little but it was for the sheer enjoyment of being in a room of loving people.
What do we want?
Poetry!
What do we do?
We lose control to please ourselves.
Or a plank.
Recently, I completed a yoga class at my local gym. I feel the need to work out because if I don't, I'll grow a big booty in all the wrong ways. I wait too much for emails simply cooking or cleaning on a daily basis so a good workout is more than needed.
The one day I did decide to finish my workout with a group exercise, it was the day we worked on control. When everything seems to be falling out of my control, I was offered a key to control. It was one of the best classes I ever had. Even though I fell a few times, hopped a little early, dripped sweat on the floor, and left (never owned) my mat, I came out more free than America makes life out to be.
We began by controlling our breathing and then were asked to invision what our goal was. A million goals ran through my mind. The first goal was not to pass out. Next was being successful. Wouldn't it be nice to earn all of my money back and then enough for NYU? But being successful isn't all that is important. Even my own mother doesn't care about my earnings. "As long as you're happy" is all she tells me now-a-days.
Well-being. That became my goal. As my heart keeps hurting and I feel more and more unhappy, maybe I'm thinking about everything the wrong way. Originally, I wanted to write my book so that so reader could connect with it. One soul out of the endless copies available was all I wanted. But as I watched my bank account lower and my stress level raise, my intentions simply redirected towards business.
Let's look at business though, I don't have a published book yet as it will only be out in a week. I don't have business cards as they only come out with my book. I don't have a publisher as I am self-publishing and my wanna-be agent still hasn't finished my manuscript. What is business? A lot of running around and praying for things to go right.
Let's tight this back to yoga and control. Control is the one thing I can't seem to find. Business is uncontrollable. I can't force consumers to love me. But I can control my breathing and the image of me. I want to be happy and well. Letting go of control is everything I need. And maybe the compassion of a boy who loves me unconditionally.
When the class ending, the instructor offered us a few hand positions. Palms facing up is letting go of control. For that one moment after a yoga class of stumbles, I had full control to let go. Not only did I feel relaxed, I felt everything click. A vision of my smile appeared and the next night I went to poetry with the very boy who can stand me when I panic. What did we do? We sat in each other's arms and listened to poems. Sure, I pushed my book a little but it was for the sheer enjoyment of being in a room of loving people.
What do we want?
Poetry!
What do we do?
We lose control to please ourselves.
Comments
Post a Comment