Goat Activists

All she wanted was some leafs

That's what we all want, some leafs. Whether it's leafs of paper for more poems or leafs of information. Recently, I went to the Laughing Goat cafe in Boulder, CO. It felt fitting to have a goat reaching for her dreams as the starter for this because Boulder was my sign of moving forward. I finally began calling more people instead of holding it off in drafts of emails. Finally, I began writing stories for literary journals as my nerves seem to settle.

Nancy is her name and I sort of wish this goat was her too. She started at poetry readings as well but now, she is in charge of a writing program and helping people with their manuscripts. We got in touch once I finally started looking up events. I found her writing on an old Facebook page for reading. Long story short, she suggested I look into a different source of revenue. I should be attracting young readers not in bookstores but where real teenagers hang out. The internet. 

Now, I write stories and poems for literary journals. After over a month of puking at my writing, I have second breathing in me. I've learned to love my poems again. After having my insulting whispers finally interrupted by compliments, I have enough pride in my work again to consider my boy's edits terrible when needed. We now act as a true team instead of me desperately hoping I'm good enough. I'm realizing I am. Laughing Goat was the test. Even though I walked out defeated, I can't wait to go back. I have new material and feel stronger than ever. Maybe it's yoga teaching me how to breath but I can exhale sadness and inhale empowerment. No more running towards success building anxiety but rather happiness creating sensuality.

With my path finally cleared, I want to help those how come after me and around me. When I was sitting at the Laughing Goat, being the blaring Denver native, I chose to cover a woman's tab because I could. Despite the gentle encouraging squeezes from my boy, the way her eyes sparkled when I did was all I wanted to see at that moment. She reminded me we are all some what the same. That night, I stopped wanting selfishly and wanted to please others. This is why we are artists. Not for ourselves but for others to feel our joy when we create.