15|Dark Matter

"I pray to god I go to heaven when I overdose."

I like to stay away from the news not because I believe a life of ignorance is blissful; but, rather, our need to quantify and categorize doesn't leave room for grey matter. Currently, there has been a lot in the news about terrorism and changes in criminal behaviors. I want to bring up a few instances before I begin to draw parallels. 

1. People become offended when white individuals are identified as terrorists.
2. There is a much greater population of minority incarceration.
3. Violent crimes by minorities is decreasing while violent crimes by whites is increasing. 
4. More whites are likely to be using any type of illegal drug. 
5. The protest in Israel this week has injured hundreds.

"Angels lose their wings when they fall from heaven."

It is very easy to see hatred for things that are different --they can be uncomfortable, scary, and challenging. When we are kids, we try a lot of new things and honestly, we get hurt more than we get praised for these new things so it is easy to see the conditioning to identify new and different as bad.  After 9/11, hate-crimes against dark skinned individuals was intense. Even now, the same polarized attitude is seen when it comes to terrorism. But, what is terrorism? Terrorism is causing fear in doing daily activities in the hopes of controling and manipulating the subjected population. Nowhere in the definition does it say one group is more likely to commit such crimes as another. No. Everyone has the potential to be sinister. But yet, media has painted out the typical terrorist to look like half of Africa. 

Israel is by far one of the worst examples of this polarization. A protest was started at the Gaza Stip where thousands of Palestinians stood at the Israel-Palestine border. News outlets turn unreliable here since there are two clear sides here --the zionists and the humanitarianists. Sources says Israel hieghten troops at the border after an alledged incident of foul play --an Israeli troop shooting and killing an unarmed, innocent Palestinian. Other sources say that Hamas organized this march and the people participating were provoking Israeli guards with rocks and things lit on fire. Now, it is not my job as an American citizen to determine who is right and who is wrong, but when death tolls come out and only one side is getting injured, I like to think there is something wrong. 

"Living in absolutes leaves no room for enjoying life's pleasant mistakes."

A less common polarization comes into play when looking at grandeous objects like space. Until very recently, there was an absolute condition that in order for galaxies to be held together and functioning, a significant portion of the galaxy must be made up of dark matter --an unseen, hypothesized gathering of WIMPs responsible for gravitational attractions along celestial objects. Scientists know little of dark matter simply because it is presents in the absence of light matter --the thins we see and the particles that can hold charges. Scientists do theorize that dark matter provides a "loading zone" for gases needed to continue building galaxies as well as provides a glue between big objects so that galaxies do not dissipate into the growing abyss. 

"Ever settle for your first answer."

In light of this knowledge, a few outliers appeared in the data. Dragonfly 44 is a galaxy made up of almost 99.99% dark matter --an invisible galaxy. Dragonfly 44 has a few stars held apart at great lengths, with a light matter composition of 1/1000th of the total galactical mass. How could this be? How could a few stars be so dense? The answer came with the particles unseen. The objects were in a more or less permanent relative distance and no rotation but not close enough for their placement to be accounted for by their own cores --if they even had a core to begin with. The unseen void of space was the answer. This is a good example of a utra diffuse galaxy --its mass does not correspond to its brightness. 

"Are humans intrinsically benevolent or subjectly malicious?"

A theory that still holds is that ultra diffuse galaxies are failed galaxies, where dark matter pulled in light matter such as gases to start the spiraling effect of a galaxy but the light matter simply got stuck at the eye of the dark matter's pull instead of continuing to rotate and attract heavier particles. Something went wrong in this galaxy and is not a tidal cess-pool of space trash. 

This reminds me of the trash islands our own planet is struggling with. All of our oceans have a current and some sort of circular motion. In the locations of where one tidal spin is beginning to meet a new tidal spin are where these trash dead-zones exist. It's like letting go of a merry-go-round right at the fastest part and seeing how far you land. In a sense, this is where the ocean pushes all of the things it does not need away. Ulta diffuse galaxies, if you accept dark matter halos are space currents, are the trash islands of space. 

"I think we are all good if you consider the perspective behind the indented purpose."

Here, in the vastness of space, where humans are still considered to be alone in an isolating galaxy, we have still managed to define something and provide ourselves with a concrete answer. Dark matter is required to hold galaxies together. But, even this was challenged. 

NGC 1052-D2F is a new class of its own with no theory to quantify it. 1052-D2F is also a ultra diffuse galaxy but the difference with this galaxy and other UDG is that there is almost no dark matter present. The objects present in the galaxy are heavy, slow moving, and big. The galaxy itself is almost translucent and has little to no interact with the surrounding galaxies. Now, what does all of this mean? It means we have found a galaxy that is being held together by the exhanges of old and big light matter alone. It also means that galaxy is just a giant light cloud. 

I think of the border wall Trump is trying to build when I think about this galaxy. The galaxy is simply floating in spacce, existing as a waste of gas and a smudge from a fingerprint on the lense of space. Immigrants will find a way into a country regardless of the limitations, if they want something bad enough. Immigration is just the moment of people from a poor place, so poor that it comprosied their perspective of livable, to a place of potential. Immigration is just a human definition for something that is not always explicable. Dark matter, in the case of 1052-D2F, is like the word "immigration". Regardless of the wall, the problems of the country, like drug use, education, poverty, and corruption, will stay as the problems of the country --gaseous clusters will stay gaseous structures. Dark matter doesn't solve anything. Dark matter simply defines what we are scared of so we can isolate it and attack another problem instead of analyze the light matter we have in front of us. 

"Be the change you want to see."

A theory exists that this galaxy formed from the tidal exess of light matter. So, from the spinning arms of other galaxies, bits of dust and gas flug out into space and with enough collisions and spill over, the gas and dust began to interact to for clusters of light --the force of another galaxy created this. This is somewhat similar, in my mind, to how terrorism starts. Who are terrorists? Are they really serial killers? No. They are people who needed something better for their life than what they were receiving. In a way, they were rejected from society or society was not providing a way to help. So, these lonely and hurt individuals start looking for a place or an output for their pain. They turn to god, they turn to others, and they turn to their ego --if life won't work for me, I will make it work. These people are the pieces of light matter that were forced out of the already struggling outskirts into a place that is dark and cold. Together though, with the support of one another, they turn into politcal groups and organizations --they don't need gravity, they have a cause. 

Here is a flaw in my comparison. The galaxy previously described does not interact with the surrounding galaxies. Terrorists do. They're whole point is to interact with the society that threw them out. Let's consider again a new definition for dark matter. Let's consider dark matter as society. In 1052-D2F, the concept of a "society" is altered, but is that not what we as humans are doing? Our societies are online forums, web communities, and partners from every corner of the globe. We are independent beings latching on to fleeting permanence. But nonetheless, we are a society. 

"Nothing really matters... to me."

Blah blah blah. I have spent all this time sharing information but what is the point? I really want to get at the point of values. What do we really value? Do we value something concrete and the need to control or do we value growing and understanding? Consider dark matter, does it even matter at all?

I am a fan of calling myself a flesh suit and hate complements about my phyiscal appearance --that doesn't matter to me. The internet and momentary burst of joys from being accepted doesn't matter to me. What does matter to me is doing the right thing as often as possible. There is really nothing more to me. Why fill out the online applications of preferences if everything changes anyways? 

From everything I got out of reading about space, I learned that gravity and the connections between objects is what really matters --light or dark. I think about being benevolent. No one will remember me for the things that I built or the things that I accumulated but, Anechka Estella will always remember me because her mother named her after me. It is really easy to start going with the flow of bad decisions but I think about what the future me would say? No one will know my past but the reflection in the mirror will and my personal value will decrease. 

"Confidence looks sexy on you."

My values are the things that matter to me. My values are my motivators and I remind myself about my values everyday. I don't know if people are born benevolent but I do know that we have the choice to stay benevolent. It's silly but, I have to keep myself in check --every single day --because it is easy to get overwhelmed and let ego take the driver's seat. 

Here is how I stay better than bad:

1. Take an extra breath between every bad thought. 

2. Every time you think negatively about someone else, repeat the same negative thought to yourself. 

3. Stop and say "thank you" at the end of your conversations. 

4. When you feel bad, pull out from social media.

5. Find the good in everything! There is a plan and we are not supposed to know it. 

6. Be okay with not being okay --understand this is temporary.

7. Always try to keep learning about what you enjoy. 

8. Have a happy thought or happy mind-guide to go to.

9. Wait for those around you. 

10. Ask "why" an extra time when something seems different to you.

11. Try new ingredients.

12. Humble yourself --you did not deserve anything. 

13. Take a day to do nothing. Literally, look at the grass.

14. Consider everything a miracle.

15. Don't get hurt, understand no one sees inside your head. 

16. Stand your ground and explain yourself

17. Don't take the easy road. 

18. Leave room for grey matter.